What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lei was one of my classmates in grade school. We've been in the same school since kindergarten but we only got to be in the same class until fourth grade. I haven't seen her for a while because I transferred to a science high school and eventually, we've met other friends.
And it's her birthday today!!!
How come I still remember her?
Lei and I basically had the same interests. She was one of the officers in the Pupil Council when I won president in sixth grade. Both of us took part when The King and I was staged in school and were chosen to join the volleyball team.
For two weeks, we spend two to three hours in the afternoon to run around the campus and practice. We spend our weekends giving up reading Sweet Valley or Archie's to meet coach and the rest of the team to play. Twelve were only chosen and the we're-part-of-the-volleyball-team feeling was overwhelming.
We were both pulled out from the team!
The municipal office sent the school a letter indicating that students born earlier than March 31, 1984, are not allowed to take part in the District Meet.
Three were disqualified from our team including Lei and me. My birthday is on (if you remember) March 13 and Lei's is on March 30. We probably cried rivers then because we were part of the mythical six. Our coach empathized with us by saying we should have held longer to our mother's womb (some empathy) and his assistant offered to falsify our birth certificates (which were then required to be submitted).
The District Meet will be held the coming week. All players were pulled out from classes and are visibly practicing on the school grounds.
I was miserable for days and the offer of the assistant coach was there to consider. I consulted my mom who knew how disheartened I was then (I go home from school with swollen eyes). Rather than telling me to accept it or not, she told me of stories of great athletes who lost titles and awards for such and such. I never imagined myself being the greatest volleyball player in town, but I REALLY loved volleyball. However, I got what my mom meant.
Of course, Lei and I gave up and let it be. Since then, I never stepped on the school's volleyball court again. I never tossed nor served the ball like I used to. Instead, I joined the basketball team.
Ever been disheartened before?
Never start a dork talk with me!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Back in college, I was affiliated to an organization that was soooo into music. It was unlikely for me to apply for membership since I was a senior. Aside from the fact that I am graduating and with a thesis to finish, the application usually takes years.
The Underground Music Community (UG) then was just about to celebrate its second anniversary. Its founders have just graduated. At that time, these were the basic things one has to complete to have a chance to be a member: apply, be a batched applicant, organize internal and external projects, and have a batch road trip. There were just five batches then, each with three to five members.
Even as an applicant, I got the chance to head and organize committees for events. Barely two months in the organization, I had problems with other applicants who were older than me. There was once that I really wanted to cry (yeah, I tend to cry when I am terribly upset) coz one applicant was bossing me around during a concert. Eventually, I found out that nobody really liked her to the extent that she was told she will never be a member.
There were many activities and values that members and applicants do and have that I do not conform to nor agree with, but I learned a lot from the people I've met in the organization. I saw how artists struggled to play and be heard even for free and most people (especially event organizers) do not realize the importance of time for musicians. The best perks were the free backstage pass and food when the bands are invited to perform in different concerts, plus the chance to interact with local mainstream artists.
In February 2005, I was chosen to be part of Batch 7. However, come April, I'll be one of the marching graduates. I was able to take part in planning for the internal and external events but I finally chose to defer in May. By then, I knew there was no turning back.
It was one of the biggest choices I made as I grasp the idea of delayed gratification.
The other night, I met a "batchmate" and we got to update each other about the org. I learned that she has also deferred. There are new bands in the organization and some have produced and launched independent CDs too. Occasionally, I get to listen to some that have gone mainstream.
Even until now, I still think of the gigs and music I missed attending and listening to. But I do not regret the choice I made.
I realized that people eventually make sacrifices. It's just a matter of choosing between the temporary ones and the permanent ones. The latter may be hardly felt, but they last forever.
I did not decide. I chose.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Show Some Skin
If you are a graduate or a friend of the University of the Philippines College of Mass Communication (UP CMC), you are now being called upon to "show some skin." Proceed to Party Central (in front of ABS-CBN) at 141 Mother Ignacia Street, Quezon City on April 8 (Saturday), 6 p.m.
Remember Aling Suming, the recently retired, longest-staying administrative staff who has been with the college since its early years? This time she is calling you to a fellowship where you will have a good time and have another opportunity to help the college.
The summer fun night is called Fun Raising: Tawag ka uli ni Aling Suming. It will be night of raffles, dancing and singing. Among those expected to perform are Giselle Sanchez, Jaja Bolivar, Rannie Raymundo, Masculados and M-gage. There will also be a Mr. and Ms. CMC contest and oath-taking of the UP CMC Alumni Association (UP CMCAA) officers led by Maryo J. De Los Reyes, Jessica Soho, Dr. Elena "Neny" Pernia, Lois Villanueva, Jane Vinculado, Arminda V. Santiago, Danilo Arao and Erika Dandal; and members of the Board of Trustees Dr. Grace "Gigi" Javier Alfonso, Jaja Bolivar, Yasmin Crisostomo, Karen Davila, Ambet Nabus, Egay Navalta and Dr. Lourdes "Odette" Portus. The oath-taking will be officiated by the mother of all CMC students and graduates, Mrs. Consuelo "Aling Suming" Agapito.
The entrance fee for the April 8 summer fun night at Party Central is P500 which entitles the holder to dinner, drinks and a raffle ticket. For inquiries, please call Gina at (632) 928-3188, Luming at (632) 920-6867 or Katkat at (632) 920-6864.
Monday, March 27, 2006
*issues and ideas raised that almost got me choked
While preparing clubhouse sandwich...
Charlie: You can get married. You can prepare snacks for your kids.
If that's what a wife's only supposed to do, I have been married when I was 6 years old.
In an interview...
HRD Head: Do you have a boyfriend?
I wonder what job they intend to give me?
Mom: Your father believes you have a boyfriend.
Is my dad finding an excuse to cut down my allowance?
Charlie again: Why aren't you bringing your boyfriend here (in the apartment)?
I would if you could show me where my boyfriend is.
Former Boss: Are you virgin?
That's why this is a former.
Aunt: Your sister believes you have a live-in partner.
RJ: You work in Makati. I would work in Makati. Let's live together.
very convenient indeed
After I gave her a hug...
Mom: Are you getting married???
After I thanked her for everything...
Mom: Are you dying???
This almost killed me. While eating polvoron...
Brian: I wish you were a guy.
Another entry for my Top BLOCKmail Awards:
And she wish she knew how to quit... food!
Friday, March 24, 2006
Sea in the City and "Raffy"
If Atlantis is the lost city in the sea, we now have a lost sea in the city, in our aquarium office.
Our company shares office with its sister company which happens to be a call center. Addressing an American market, agents work in the evening and take (dis)advantage of the time difference. Probably to boost the morale of the agents, they design the office in different themes from time to time.
Last month, they had Care Bears and there was a somewhat railroad track on the floor.
When I went to work this morning, I was bewildered by these:
While editing a law suit, I kept on singing "Under the Sea" and wondered if our office would now offer swimming lessons just in time for summer. I am not sure if National Geographic and the Department of Energy and Natural Resources are aware of this.
And if you haven't seen the super computer probably once owned by the Justice League, here it is:
But it's name isn't Darna nor Wonder Woman.
In time, I may be able to advise you of some extraterrestrial sightings in the office too.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I've mentioned my coworker R in some of my posts. But I'd say it again, I believe he's gay.
Most times, he'd narrate his "victimized" stories to me even if he knows well that I won't buy his reasons. Often, I'd end up reminding him that he's waaaaay older than me and this makes him upset. One evening, I was able to walk with him to the train station.
R: I've waited for you for one and a half hours and this is all I get?
Me: Did I ask you to wait for me?
We were crossing Makati Avenue and he tells me I might end up like the guy who got headless when crossing Ayala Avenue.
R: Ayala Part II!!!
ME: (*laughing*) Tange (read: ta-nge, the friendliest way to say moron in Filipino)! We're on Makati Avenue. How can it be Ayala Part II?
He was denying that another coworker turned him down.
R: (*with conviction*) I hate petite women!
ME: (*with even greater conviction) Why? You like petite men?
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
A Year It Has Been
It was an ordinary Monday. The message alert tone of my cellphone under my pillow woke me up. Half-asleep, I grabbed it. And with one eye open, I read the message.
Enough to make me utter, "S***!"
After some follow-up inquiries, I didn't waste any time and took a bath. Inside the shower, my mind was wondering how the others were and contemplated on how fast things have happened.
When I reached the university, some of my friends have already left while some were still planning on how to go to Bulacan.
In the afternoon, my friends and I met, most of them with puffy lids. We spoke like everything was fine but no one dared to laugh. While we divert our conversation to everything, our minds were anticipating for reality and what would be next.
And when we reached her house, every word became unutterable and turned into sobs. As embraces were exchanged, it was the first time that I recognized that she was really gone.
I stared at her beneath the glass and I saw no trace of pain. Like she was just peacefully asleep. On top of the glass was her picture, her graduation picture. A semester was just left to spare and she's bound to finish college. If not for the chemotherapy, she'd be marching with us the next month.
I restrained my tears and looked at everyone. Beside me were our friends and I could only offer a shoulder for the tears. I said I must not cry. But when her father sat with us and told us how his daughter have always asked him to bring her to school just to see us, I lost.
All memories of her came to me. She was one of the Powerpuff Girls in the block because she and her friends were inseparable.
Even after the chemo, she attended school again. She even joined the trip to Puerto Galera. My last conversation with her was about a guy from the College of Music whom she introduced to most of us already. I was just too happy to see her that afternoon believing that everything was perfectly fine.
Within the same semester, we noticed her absence. No one knew what happened and there were no messages from her. Later, we found out that she was sick again and planned to surprise her.
It turns out that we were the ones surprised.
It has been a year since she left and I can still feel the numbing sadness. But that's how it is...
His children are bound to be beside Him.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
My Official Cosmopolitan Beef
Before anything else, I would like to share a new entry to my Top BLOCKmail Awards.
Presenting (insert thunder here...)
And for this post...
My official cosmopolitan beef... reading Cosmo
Friday, March 17, 2006
You Are Not Staring At My Grandma's Curtains
That's my skirt.
And I am being teased for wearing one even at the age of 22!
Thursday, March 16, 2006
And the Winner is...
First, happy birthday to Mummy, mother of puppy.
Second, thanks to Bogart, better half of Rudy, for the greeting.
Third, welcome home Moodswinger! Meet you soon.
My Top BLOCKmail Awards...
Drunk girls's writings...
Jobert (rightmost) in disgrace...
Special Memoirs of a Gay-sya Award
Nominated for rarity...
First Runner-up is...
And the one who brought home the
hotdog bacon is...
Picture speaks for itself...
Thanks to Funeraria Mabuhay.
All rights (and wrongs) reserved.
guys gays all!
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Snooze Your Way Out
In college, my friends and I excuse ourselves in I-had-enough-of-that and I-won't-buy-that-crap conversations by pretending to be narcoleptic. Yeah, we doze off (face flat) on coffee tables and snore.
August last year, I attended a forum and met Xeng, one of the top make-up artists in the country. She told us that she dozes off once in a while for about 30 minutes because she is sick. Traffic enforcers know her because she has to pull over and take a nap when she's driving. However, she added, that there are only two activities where she doesn't fall asleep -- when she's applying make-up and when she's engaged in sex. The latter would definitely be difficult to escape from.
My post today isn't actually about the psychology behind narcolepsy nor the stand of Filipinos on the said problem. Otherwise, I could have joined Ms. Philippines (given that I have good moral character *wink wink*).
I found these witty and creative excuses (most helpful to me) when caught sleeping in the office and want to share them with you (for posterity use). Thanks to Mandz. Emphasis, mine.
1. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
2. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap as described in that time management course you sent me."
3. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out You probably got here just in time!"
4. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."
5. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
6. "I was doing Yoga exercises to relieve work-related stress."
7. "Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
8. "The coffee machine is broken..."
9. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."
10. " ... in Jesus' name. Amen."
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Passage No. 21
Yesterday, I'm officially 22 years old!
For a certain reason, the number 22 does not appeal to me but I guess I have to live with it for a year (unless, of course, some cosmic intervention happens).
In a span of one week, I've been asked about 20 times one question people probably thought significant: "Do you already have a boyfriend?"
At first it was funny. But then later on, I have no idea why I am attracting such question. Fortunate enough, there was no hope-you-have-a-boyfriend birthday wish yesterday.
I am now 22. Any significant change, I still have to find out. Although some people identify me with my age (they actually think I am VERY young to make significant decisions), it has never been an excuse for me not to get what I want. I do not know if I've mentioned it here before, but I really plan to retire from being employed at age 25. It doesn't mean I won't be working by then. But by that time, I'll be doing something that I really like WITHOUT A BOSS and work for about 12 hours in a week.
Before you raise an eyebrow or ask what's got into me, I have to tell you that it's possible now that we are in the information age. It may be too BIG a dream and I do not know if I would get there but right now I have nothing to lose. In case I don't succeed, at 25, I will still be young to salvage my career.
Last year was the toughest year for me. It entailed so many changes and realizations. I've made a lot of significant choices and learned the real meaning of responsibility. I've also learned why it is important to know why I do things and what I can temporarily give up to create a difference.
I have to admit that it wasn't easy. Choosing also caused me a lot of sleepless nights and tears. I also broke promises and traditions that until now I am not over with. But I know it would be worth it.
At 21, I learned the diferences between assertion and declaration, helping and assisting, power and force, valid and correct, wrong and missing. I've also learned the meaning of integrity, commitment, choosing, priority, and always already listening. I learned how to accept rejections and how to ground myself to reality. I also learned the importance of focusing on my intentions rather than looking good.
I've finally accepted that life is unfair. From this, I've also realized that it is important to assert oneself and remembering what I am being in order to come up with positive results (be-do-have).
I've realized my strong suits and failures.
I know I'd be in another roller coaster ride this year. Probably more exciting than the previous ones that I had experienced. Probably with more tears to shed (*crosses fingers*) and more breakdowns and breakthroughs to contemplate on.
And guys, I really thank you for taking part in my existence.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
I admit I've not been posting lately (and I have no excuse for it), but my practice of fasting has nothing to do with my lost of words nor lost of thoughts.
HE already found out my new number. I received a message earlier and there was no violent reaction whatsoever.
But I am pissed. Why? 'Coz he sent me a "Happy birthday" message...
AND MY BIRTHDAY IS ON THE 13TH!!!
I am obviously upset. We've known each other for years and we've exchanged gifts on our birthdays and he greets me happy birthday five days earlier.
I replied and ask him whose birthday it was, then he asked me not give any alibi (for whatever he has in mind). So I told him it isn't my birthday today and he insists it is.
On other matters worth remembering...
Obi-Wan and I were walking one night and I told him that I wanted to go to Japan. He said I cannot 'coz only HUMANS are issued visas. (We've met when I was 12 and he was 24, been friends eversince so we are comfortable with this kind of conversation.)
And before he could tell me what animal I could be at the moment, I tacitly tried to insist that I am not human but SUPERHUMAN.
So when I said, "Then I'd just fly," he interrupted me with, "You're not human; you're an ANGEL."
For a while, I thought my system failed and needed to reboot. I stopped walking. And he kept on laughing 'cos he knew I am cheesy-line intolerant. He was enjoying the thought that I was caught off-guard because he has complained a lot that I am one smart ass even to his wife and other business partners.
He did not stop there though.
Last night, we met with his business partners. When he was talking to a guy named Angelito, he said he prefers to call the latter Lito. Out of the blue, he added, "Because the angel is there," and pointed towards my direction, making everyone look at me.
Like a little school girl, I flushed and instinctively covered my face with my left hand. I so wanted to defend myself and say something about the "Angel" conversation or at least excuse myself from the meeting but I was lost.
For more horrifying effects, the guy I like is standing behind me.
And I didn't dare look at him.
Friday, March 03, 2006
"Appetite of the what?"
Since Lent has just started last Wednesday, I decided to fast seriously.
Hoping that I could equate fasting to eating fast, I asked Obi-Wan about its basic concepts since he spent a significant amount of time in the seminary.
He told me that man has three kinds of appetite (take note): appetite for food, appetite for sleep, and appetite for flesh.
Rhyan who was with us asked Obi-Wan if the appetite for flesh isn't the same as appetite for food. Of course, the latter played along and said that it could be.
"That would be edible but not consumable," I said and Obi-Wan agreed.
After a few more comments and laughs, Obi-Wan cut the conversation because a young lady (obviously referring to me) is with them, so I turned to face Rhyan and asked, "Since when did you come out?"
After some more facts about sacrificing and offering pain for a good cause, we reached my place. Before I could close the car door, Obi-Wan asked me, "So what are you going to abstain from?"
Third day of fasting. Another day of abstaining.