What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Passage No. 21
Yesterday, I'm officially 22 years old!
For a certain reason, the number 22 does not appeal to me but I guess I have to live with it for a year (unless, of course, some cosmic intervention happens).
In a span of one week, I've been asked about 20 times one question people probably thought significant: "Do you already have a boyfriend?"
At first it was funny. But then later on, I have no idea why I am attracting such question. Fortunate enough, there was no hope-you-have-a-boyfriend birthday wish yesterday.
I am now 22. Any significant change, I still have to find out. Although some people identify me with my age (they actually think I am VERY young to make significant decisions), it has never been an excuse for me not to get what I want. I do not know if I've mentioned it here before, but I really plan to retire from being employed at age 25. It doesn't mean I won't be working by then. But by that time, I'll be doing something that I really like WITHOUT A BOSS and work for about 12 hours in a week.
Before you raise an eyebrow or ask what's got into me, I have to tell you that it's possible now that we are in the information age. It may be too BIG a dream and I do not know if I would get there but right now I have nothing to lose. In case I don't succeed, at 25, I will still be young to salvage my career.
Last year was the toughest year for me. It entailed so many changes and realizations. I've made a lot of significant choices and learned the real meaning of responsibility. I've also learned why it is important to know why I do things and what I can temporarily give up to create a difference.
I have to admit that it wasn't easy. Choosing also caused me a lot of sleepless nights and tears. I also broke promises and traditions that until now I am not over with. But I know it would be worth it.
At 21, I learned the diferences between assertion and declaration, helping and assisting, power and force, valid and correct, wrong and missing. I've also learned the meaning of integrity, commitment, choosing, priority, and always already listening. I learned how to accept rejections and how to ground myself to reality. I also learned the importance of focusing on my intentions rather than looking good.
I've finally accepted that life is unfair. From this, I've also realized that it is important to assert oneself and remembering what I am being in order to come up with positive results (be-do-have).
I've realized my strong suits and failures.
I know I'd be in another roller coaster ride this year. Probably more exciting than the previous ones that I had experienced. Probably with more tears to shed (*crosses fingers*) and more breakdowns and breakthroughs to contemplate on.
And guys, I really thank you for taking part in my existence.