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What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."                                           -- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Sanjog: watch this Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi i'm male 16 and U? You: i m pretty yung 2 You: that was quick Stranger: ? Stranger: you have msn baby? You: m a baby that shaves
Sanjog: i used this http://omegle.com/ that YOU is me try it u chat to a random unknown stranger
Jaycee: and then?
Sanjog: chat that's all
(After a minute)
Jaycee: this is hilarious Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: ㅎ2? You: ? You: hi Stranger: 안녕이라고 Stranger: 한국인아 Stranger: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Stranger: 뭐야너
Sanjog:Stranger: hi asl You: god 10000 SEX always 3 times a week Stranger: so are you a girl You: let me tell you what is Ivtech Stranger: god it is impossible to find an actual girl on this website who wants to have a sexually explict chat You: two camshafts controlled by a chip; changing the timing according to the rpm of the car
Jaycee: hahahaha I'm now talking to Michael Jordan Connecting to server... You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: hi Stranger: hey its michael jordan You: which michael jordan? You: 11 0r 12? Stranger: the one who played basketball You: i know him You: but with his vast collection, im geting confused Stranger: i played for the bulls remember me You: i cheered for our "new">barangay Stranger: wut You: just kidding You: so u ran out of endorsements You: ? Stranger: no i am endorsed with hanes You: ahhhh You: and how has the recession affected u? Stranger: and i have a clothing company Stranger: o i have been doin fine playin some b-ball Stranger: ive been ok You: i heard abt ur latest customized jersey Stranger: wut You: u dont know abt ur latest customized jersey for the bulls?> Stranger: no Stranger: i dont You: then u should check yahoo news abt urself
Sanjog: hahahaha i am talking to someone from korea i made a friend he wants to learn english he keeps saying nono he writes without space bar he says byebye i have to say nono
Jaycee: hahahaha I have to meet Obama here
(After a couple of minutes more)
Sanjog: I got Obama
Sanjog: yeah You: i am looking for president obama Stranger: that's me You: great You: so howz life Stranger: its ur lucky day Stranger: lifes hectic You: certainly iz Stranger: but good You: great You: howz the pooch doing Stranger: the american ppl have realized that it takes a long time for theses crises to end You: i hope he doesnt mess up the white house carpet Stranger: the pooch is doin great, tahnks You: u opened up the Swiss bank account yet Stranger: hah, even if he does, this is the white house, son,we get new rugs super faast You: ofcourse Stranger: and why would i tell youthat You: HA HA HA HA Stranger: you have red too many novels, son Stranger: *read You: nah You: just a GAS You: oh oh You: i know the american style You: probabaly we can shoot the pooch with bazooka
(Sometime more later)
Sanjog: i am exchanging Tai-chi lessons for english
Jaycee: hahahaha nono
(And later than later)
Sanjog: "shi shi ni" is "thank you" in chinese, right?
Jaycee: yep she she, i think "nihao ma" is like "how are u"
Sanjog: i know; i was just wondering how to write it
(8 minutes: the log said so)
Jaycee: hey, nono
Jaycee: he's now asking me to describe myself :p should i suggest a mail-order-bridesite?
Sanjog: say i am 77DD
Jaycee: shut up it should be 85F
Sanjog: HA HA HA HA HA HA man those are awsome HA HA HA HA he will have a heart attack
(Zzzz Zzzz Zzzzz)
Sanjog: i am translating mozart in chinese
Jaycee: just say do-re-mi-no-no
(Trying my luck the next morning)
Connecting to server... Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on. You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! Stranger: hi You: hello You: are u obama? Stranger: no You: *broken hearted Stranger: im luke though You: skywalker? You: :-o You: *force be with u Stranger: sure:)
Well, I hate spammers in my Orkut scrapbook. "Spammers" meaning people beyond my friends list who send me links of several other communities I've never heard of or special offers redirecting to other websites.
And today, due to boredom, I checked the link a certain Nazeem sent me. I found the idea really irritating. But when I saw the description, I ended up laughing really hard.
Well, I admit, to me, members of this community seem pathetic and desperate. But if they are able to support each other thru the forums (which caused me a serious case of epistaxi), then I'll let them be.
at the Calvin and Hobbes community, 10 scrap thread, January 14, 2009
Jaycee (J): @ Maleficent: from which Disney movie is that witch in ur dp? snow white or sleeping beauty? or is she a star in both? @ Ravi: u still aren't wearing a shirt? [:0]
Lazy Crazy (Ravi, LC): i was about to say that Maleficient's DP looks like its from Samurai Jack any1 seen that in Cartoon Network? @JC heheh yeahh i took this pic just aftah my shower, so no shirt on![/)] but dont worry, i'll go shirt shopping a few days later [:p]
Maleficent (M): @jaycee . . . sleepin beauty is the main one...rest all guest appearences...
LC: Male De Ficient? [/)][;)]
A$im (A): i know samurai jack!!! ...awesome series......my notebooks r full of his sketches....
J: @ maleficent: then it's an honor to interact with the star witch of Disney![:D] @ ravi: i know u'd shop, but are u gonna wear them [:o] and yeah, my college crush looked like samurai jack [:p]
LC: college crush looked like samurai jack HAHAHAHAHA very funny JC [:p] can we meet him? i and ASim are big fans! [:D] i still donno the ending of the series tho! Does he defeat the Evil AKUUUU???
A: the series nvr reached tht far....
LC: The witch has run away! muahahahahahahaha
M: the witch neva runs away!
LC: ooh CN sucks. it always stops shows midway! [:x] and now all the shows are in telugu, hindi and whatnot! (whatnot is a language, yes [/)])
J: hahaha! ravi, i was just really trying his name in google and i got these pics. he's now in a boy band
A: Jc dear...u need to hoop up wid someone asap... :P
LC: JC a boy band? what is that? band of boys? doenst even sound cool band of bad boys sounds cool
J: i'm laughing hard here. he didnt speak much in college, then i see him posing like this online. whatever happened to him? i gotta find another samurai jack to replace him in my wall of fame
A: u know ....i got a 6 pack too Jc....
J: a$im- then u just have to grow ur long hair back and buy a kimono [:D] send me ur photos for my wall [;)] i gtg.
LC: @JC well well, looks like ur frnd and i have something in common [;)] i never spoke much in class either. if my classmates see my orkut pics, they might very well wonder whothe *** i've become [/)][:D]
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation or performance review, just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from United States Federal Government employee performance evaluations:
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot."
10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
12. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
My friends and I attended an award function at the Philippine World Trade Center and had dinner afterwards, which I hosted. We had fun even during dinner at Marina because the committee prepared some fun awards for the group... and I got the "Best Friend" award for being a friend to everyone (though I was seriously praying for the "Couple of the Night" award ;p). When Jerrold told me how the awarding would go, he said nomination will still happen for the "Best Friend" award, then he just announced it himself that I won it.
Well, the night is young so we proceeded to party at Pier One. Unfortunately, the long tables were taken and we were too many so we have to be divided into groups.
A band played a few famous songs including Alanis' You Oughta Know. When they left, the stage was open for dancing, which me and my friends were actually waiting for. We danced as a group. I can say I'm too reserved for bar dancing but I enjoy being with friends on the dance floor.
So when a drunk guy came to me for a dance, I just politely smiled at him and said I'm not good at dancing. Well, he just proceeded by holding both my hands and still dancing. I said "thank you" quite a number of times to politely shoo him off, but the damn guy just said "It's time to have fun."
Well, I was havin' fun before you entered the scene, I so wanted to tell him. But if I create any commotion there, I know my guy friends would all come to him and the bar would be a pandemonium. So while this guy and I were going in circles, literally, I was checking where my friends are.
And yeah, the bouncer is standing right next to me!!! Yey!
So before Mr. Calvin Klein (that's the shirt he was wearing) made more attempts to grind himself on me, I gave him a final "thank you" and pulled my hands from his grasp. And I turned to my friends.
My friend Anil asked me Monday if I can bring carabao milk from my province, so I asked my Dad to drop by the office to bring some. He came and brought seven 1.5-liter bottles filled with carabao milk, which I had to endure bringing to the 15th floor.
Anil, however, said he cannot pick them up himself so he is sending his friend Rao. I waited for sometime but he came to the other entrance of the building I work at, so we met halfway and gave him the three bottles. We didn't talk too much because Rao was tired and I was damn hungry. It was almost 4PM and I have not eaten lunch yet.
A few minutes later, I received an SMS from my business mentor.
WHO IS THE INDIAN GUY?
I know I'm already 24 but I felt embarrassed by how my mentor asked me. She obviously saw me. What I am afraid of is that she's gonna tease me, actually, in our trainings.
And lo and behold, when we met in the evening, I cannot deny anything because she had my picture in her phone, me talking to Rao. And it looked like we were meeting at a backside alley.
Now, I understand why Hollywood stars hate the Paparazzi. ;p
My cousin Emmaluz submitted an entry in a scholarship contest sponsored by Converse. I'd like to request your assistance by voting for her entry and if it won't take much of your time, forward this message to your friends and/or post it on your blogs.