What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Back in college, I was affiliated to an organization that was soooo into music. It was unlikely for me to apply for membership since I was a senior. Aside from the fact that I am graduating and with a thesis to finish, the application usually takes years.
The Underground Music Community (UG) then was just about to celebrate its second anniversary. Its founders have just graduated. At that time, these were the basic things one has to complete to have a chance to be a member: apply, be a batched applicant, organize internal and external projects, and have a batch road trip. There were just five batches then, each with three to five members.
Even as an applicant, I got the chance to head and organize committees for events. Barely two months in the organization, I had problems with other applicants who were older than me. There was once that I really wanted to cry (yeah, I tend to cry when I am terribly upset) coz one applicant was bossing me around during a concert. Eventually, I found out that nobody really liked her to the extent that she was told she will never be a member.
There were many activities and values that members and applicants do and have that I do not conform to nor agree with, but I learned a lot from the people I've met in the organization. I saw how artists struggled to play and be heard even for free and most people (especially event organizers) do not realize the importance of time for musicians. The best perks were the free backstage pass and food when the bands are invited to perform in different concerts, plus the chance to interact with local mainstream artists.
In February 2005, I was chosen to be part of Batch 7. However, come April, I'll be one of the marching graduates. I was able to take part in planning for the internal and external events but I finally chose to defer in May. By then, I knew there was no turning back.
It was one of the biggest choices I made as I grasp the idea of delayed gratification.
The other night, I met a "batchmate" and we got to update each other about the org. I learned that she has also deferred. There are new bands in the organization and some have produced and launched independent CDs too. Occasionally, I get to listen to some that have gone mainstream.
Even until now, I still think of the gigs and music I missed attending and listening to. But I do not regret the choice I made.
I realized that people eventually make sacrifices. It's just a matter of choosing between the temporary ones and the permanent ones. The latter may be hardly felt, but they last forever.
I did not decide. I chose.