What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
                                          -- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Another letter for a lost friend...
i hate it when i read ur account...
just proves u were never really that bastard i considered u to be, for lying to me...
i hate it coz all those words that i've said before seem to fit u in every sense. and it strikes me that u were really someone i should have kept. i wanted to keep u then.
i still want to keep u now...
but how would i do it, when u do not want to...
i know i'll never find anyone like you... but i hope i can find someone better than you. i believe i deserve someone better. i ought to believe so...
for one last time i want to talk to you... ask what happened. was it my fault? what was wrong? what went wrong?
but all i can get are those empty stares... nameless messages...
i wonder if it was just my "keep people" nature that rules... or something else...
sa totoo lang, masyado kong ibinuhos ang sarili ko sa 'yo...
natatakot tuloy akong gawin ulit yon.
gustuhin ko mang hindi, nahihirapan ako...
pero ano pa ng aba magagawa ko... move on...
yun daw yung tama eh.
pero mahirap...
u made me realize how i could care...
u also made me realize how devastated i could get...
i hope someone teaches me how to let go...
soon...
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