What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Happy SAD (Single Awareness Day): Flight Risk
Happy Valentine's Day!
Unlike the previous years, I do not intend to incite a mob nor promote a red-shirt day today.
First, I have to (publicly) apologize to my dates (re: My Funny Valentine with Rex Navarrete) because I cannot join them tonight. I won't give any excuse 'coz whether I give one or not won't make a difference, I still won't be going.
At the same time, I've got good news because his manager from MTV happens to be my schoolmate in gradeschool and she's giving me the privilege of inviting friends to Rex's show at The Fort for FREE!!! We can meet the guy and my friend said she can probably give us some CDs as well. So check your schedules on the 21st or 23rd, it would most probably be in the evening.
She's actually offering me Rex's number so I could ask him about Maritess v. The Superfriends and the SBC Packers.
As much as I can understand what the witness said, I cannot help myself not to raise an eyebrow...
THE WITNESS: I had my first job doing a superintendent at a subdivision...
I just changed my cellphone number and I haven't informed him yet. When he'll find out, I don't know. How he would react when he finds out, I also don't know. But that may easily be covered up with a lie.
If I'm willing to lie another time. I've lied for a long time (even to myself) I don't know if another one would still make a difference.
The thought of not informing him is tempting because it's a means of getting even for the neglect and the pain. At the same time, I'd only be running away from it.
Call me weak, but to be honest, I just really want to run away from him and from all the things that happened in the past that I have not resolved until now.
It's Feb. 14 and I am (again) posting about this, another reason to let go of him and let me reflect on what I can just hold on to. And I only have memories of years of friendship.
Years I felt left out.
As much as I want to say he caused a lot of pain, I also hold myself accountable for whatever I am in right now.
Being responsible also gives me the choice and ability to do something about it.
And to my friends, don't worry. I'm okay.