What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Monday, July 26, 2004
Things Have Really Changed...
I feel bad that it is only now that I am able to update my blog. I have not even changed my template. If I were Kate who cringes on the monthly layout, I could have killed myself. Fortunately, I am not Kate! And our difference is not just about cringing over blog layouts. We are way different in terms of "preferences," experiences, relationships and "COrelations." *wink*
I've talked to HIM. I actually felt weird, coz when he started explaining it just seemed that I don't care anymore. It's probably like that--to stop worrying, one grows apathetic. On second thought, I think I still care about HIM, but only in a lesser degree. I probably withdrew from the onion bulb (social penetration theory) or just stopped at the depth I am already in. Somehow, I felt guilty. HE said HE was about to ask me for a write-up that he plans to put in HIS yearbook, pero hindi na lang daw. If HE really asked me, I could not write anything. Or maybe I could, but all would be without depth and as how most people probably know HIM.
I realized that everyday, a piece of my "innocence" shield chips off. I've heard too much "you're-the-only-one-I-could-talk-to" secrets just for this month. It's not that I resent hearing them, I actually feel honored that people open up to me. It's just that I can also feel the pressure between "being the only one who knows" and "should I tolerate you?"
How would one actually decline "you're-the-only-one-I-could-talk-to" secrets?
The Shock Absorber hits again!