What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Monday, July 12, 2004
We held a surprise party for HER. She was elated. Just like me when they prepared one for me last March. It was fun, but I have to admit I was also nervous to be there. I just know that I might find out something that I am not yet ready to hear or witness. For sure, HE wasn’t coming. He was preparing his thesis. Neneng told me so.
Clefarie said she did not know anything about it. Neneng and I just told her what we knew. So it was also the most appropriate time that we ask HER.
When we started talking about it, I really felt uneasy. They seem to be explaining a lot to me, but I didn’t tell them anything about how WE are and how I felt regarding the issue. Clefarie told us that THEY were texting a lot, HE goes with HER to QC and that she lied when she said she knew nothing, or just as much as Neneng and I knew.
From time to time, I was asking them why they seem to be explaining to me when it was just supposed to be like how friends converse with each other. All eyes were on me, when I was just actually listening. When Cleng was narrating, she always says, “ Ganito kasi Jaycee…”
So I kept asking myself, “Did I do or say anything wrong?”
I also asked her, “ Why do you always have to explain to me?”
Later, when we were suppose to go home, SHE told me she wants to have a “heart to heart” talk with me. But why? And why with me? SHE later told me Tati saw Kaye the other night and Tati told Kaye how I felt about being “ignorant.” Kaye, HER cousin, told HER.
SHE said SHE felt guilty because I seem to be very ignorant of the issue and what has been really happening.
Ironically, when everyone has said their goodbyes, it was then that Clefarie started telling the whole story. Still, I felt uneasy. They just seem to be really explaining to me. “Hello! I am not the only one clueless here! Neneng and Carole are also here,” I wanted to tell HER then.
When they started making things clear, I just realized I had too much. And they are going beyond what I expect to find out. At the start, I felt uneasy. But when it was about to end, I felt scandalized. And I kept on telling Clefarie, “Will you please stop there?” I think I found out what I’m not supposed to do so.
Feeling ko talaga ‘pag nagkita KAMI, sobrang mamumula ako (and people seem to be very fond of seeing me blush). I can’t say I’m ultra conservative, but still, these people have to consider how WE talk and how close WE are.
Neneng said, “Masyado ka nang techie, dapat medyo pornographic ka na rin. Jaycee, 20 na ‘yun.”
*insert thunder here*
And she’s so damn right. HE is no longer a boy.
Nakaka-score na nga eh!
I think I found out more than what I wanted.
*inom ng tubig*