What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]
posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006
"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
-- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous
Friday, December 09, 2005
Humor From Great Minds
Got this from an e-mail.
Sir Norman Wisdom: "As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two... "
Edgar Watson Howe: "One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money."
Doug Larson: "A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!"
Eric Bolton: "A harmful truth is always better than... a useful lie!"
Erno Philips: "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me."
Robert Paul: "I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'."
Phyllis Diller: "We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."
Victor Borge: "Laughter is the closest distance between two people."
W.C. Fields: "Start every day with a smile and get it over with."
Will Rogers: "Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Mickey Rooney: "Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day."
Tim Allen: "Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children.
Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison."
Rita Rudner: "If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks."
Woody Allen: "I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
Erica Jong: "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
Elbert Hubbard: "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive."
Wendell Johnson: "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
Joey Adams: "In life, it's not who you know that's important, its how your wife found out."
Henry Youngman: "I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me."
Benny Hill: "Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"
Eric Mendoza: "Nothing is Impossible in this world. The word Impossible itself says I'm Possible."