What's your favorite disguise? [/meta]

posted by letter shredder @ 11:59 a.m. on 1/20/2006

"Great art is about conflict and pain and guilt and longing and love disguised as sex and sex disguised as love..."
                                          -- Lester Bangs, Almost Famous



Thursday, December 01, 2005

Childhood (Mis)Demeanor

posted by letter shredder at 8:54 AM

I promised dcs that I would post about my grade school life.
So here it is... Happy reading.


I was 6 when I first entered St. Francis School. Most of my cousins went there so it seems to follow that I also do. It was another town away from where we live. I can still remember our first task in class, to color a page in our work book. There was a mango tree and a carabao was sitting next to it. The first time my kinder teacher recognized me in class was when she noticed that I colored the mango fruits yellow or green. My other classmates colored theirs blue and some other shades, probably the ones that they first liked in their crayon set.


I had a good report card, I can say. During the first quarter honors deliberation, I was sixth in the whole kindergarten department. I never knew what honors meant then, I probably said I'd be seventh the next. All I know was that 7 > 6. Next quarter, I topped the class. My parents were so happy they treated me and my siblings to a fine dine restaurant. And the pressure to stay on top began there. I noticed that the person I replaced on top didn't like me. She probably pretended but she did something that really made me decide not to trust her. One time, she volunteered to copy the assignment for me because she said she was already done. Since I thought she was making friends, I let her. The next day, I had a wrong assignment. It was about following a series of shapes, and she copied or made a wrong series for me. For a while, I got confused. I did my best on my assignment and as a child, it was scary to have a different answer, to be wrong.


In my first grade, I topped the class consistently. I was my teacher's pet. She'd include me in every available contest. She even included me in the tongue twister contest where I had to read an equation and I don't even know how to read a division sign yet (the keyboard doesn't even have one). To stay on top of the class (and the whole first grade level), I had many sleepless nights. I'd have to review our past lessons and the upcoming lessons. I memorize books. And even at first grade, we had about 8-10 subjects. When quarter exams come, I really don't sleep anymore. I barely had time to play even with my siblings. I was not only maintaining first honor, I also had to maintain the achievement award (no absences, no lates, no missed home works, exmas are almost prefect if not). But being on top had its own perks. I was always welcomed by my classmates to join them play chinese garter. I was the special player who never becomes it. I was also the class president. And I had many medals and certificates. I didn't look like a nerd then and everyone in class wanted my attention. Since I was the one reporting the noisy and English violators, everyone was kind to me. *grin*


Then came second grade. It was when we received our first communion and when we were first baptized into cheerleading. Fifth graders taught us. I believed that my life was too boring that I chose to add some spice. One of the most dreaded students in the fifth grade then was Franco. He's the type who gets involved in brawls (he got kicked out when he was in high school). I can still remember that he ran after me because I called him gay. It was in second grade that I started playing a lot, even with the kids from the other classes. I remember Janice, we always played touch body-it with the boys. Despite the name, it was a wholesome game. People would throw small balls at you and once you get hit, you're it.


Third grade was fun because it was when I got to play cops and robbers with the guys. It was also when I got first introduced to basketball. Boys would ask me to play with them even during lunch, I was fairer then. They'd include me in the team when they go against the fourth graders. Then there came a time that girls would warn or ask me why I'm the only one in skirt who's playing with the boys. So there was a time doing so. We were so into Ghost Fighter then that I was Chun-li and my classmate Ryan was Ryu.


I also remember that in third grade, I began to feel unwanted. I had good grades and I think I was kind enough. How come other girls hated me then? Girls in the school bus always find my faults. And whenever we get our school card, they'd check how many 99s I have. There are times that I'd talk to my mom because some of my classmates won't play with me or they won't invite me to be with them. My classmate Honey Tess would do anything to let my other classmates move away from me. She even took my best friend away from me. Before the school year ended, most of my classmates and I had our breaks and lunch together. We deliberately brushed her off. My friends and I were feasting at the same time. What happened to her? She transefered to another school. We never saw her again in the next three years.


It was also in third grade where I got a fourth grader running after me. Jeremy liked my cousin and she and her classmates teased him. I also did. He was the elder brother of my kindergarten rival. I called him "mosquito."


The first time I cried when I was in fourth grade was when my classmate, who had an elder brother in sixth grade, bullied me in class. Because I was on top of the class when I was in third grade, girls from other classes hated me. Still, I became president. So I thought I had more friends. But there were rich brats who gang up on me for no particular reason. In fact, I envied them because they get to wear all the beautiful clothes and signatured accessories.


Another instance, there were these sixth graders who made me cry. My best friend and I visited her cousin who was a freshman then. That time, most girls in grade school who were high-school wannabe's talked about Chiristian, a freshie too. We were waiting for Ate Summer to come out of class and Christian was her classmate. The sixth graders found me and my friends there and accused me of having a crush on him too. I hated it. I was just 10. Later, I learned to ignore them. I enjoyed talking to some of the freshies. And I had another guy ranning after me -- Mark. I also called him gay. Worst cases were when he was the one going to my classroom to find me and kiss me, he said he would. I was too scared then. But as I am typing this, I am laughing like crazy. I joined the theater then. And I almost got the role of Annie. But I was too tall that I had to be one of the street kids. Well, if you try to think of it, Annie can never be taller than Ms. Hannigan.


It was also in fourth grade that I learned some guys had (in class and from other school) crush on me. I never thought about it. The one who teased me made a big deal out of it though.


Fifth grade made a difference in my life. It was when I had a crush in the high school department. It was then that I developed my strong suit -- being strong. It was then that I realized that I was good in writing. I almost became the school paper's editor. (No bragging here.) I talked to the adviser I can't do the job because I was also busy being in the Pupil Council. It was then that I had a male best friend, Archie. And on Valentines Day, my English teacher fetched my crush from high school and brought him in the class room. I was all flushed.


And like a tradition that I am running for myself, I teased another guy -- my classmate who sits behind me, Mark. Only this time, he did not come running after me. I was called by the guidance counselor. I told Mark he stinks but I never meant it. He got mad at me and when I thought that I was being really mean, I apologized. Next day came, after flag ceremony, I found him crying. And the guidance counselor found out about it. As expected, I was called in her office later that morning. And I know I had to cry for her to send me out of the room and that the incident be not reported to my parents. So I cried. But I really meant it when I apologized to Mark. I know we were still friends. Even when I transferred to another high school, he comes to the house to visit.


Sixth grade! I barely slept. Not because I was on top of the class. I wasn't anymore. I was elected president of the Pupil Council. Everybody in school knew me, I suppose. At 12, I was included in meetings with the supervisors. I had to beg that they implement or finish the projects that were promised to the PTA. I was also news editor. I had meetings left and right. I became more fulfilled with these activities, compared to being on top of the class. It was also in sixth grade that I started becoming attached to the results, to resent commitments. Aside from being president; news editor; part of the church choir, speech choir; I also went joined the women's volleyball team. I was part of the twelve players chosen, even the top six. We held practices every afternoon and on weekends for weeks until... a memo came from the municipality indicating that all players whose birthdate is earlier than March 31, 1984 cannot join the competition. I was born on the 13th. I cried for two consecutive days. And I hated to see my former teammates practice. Until now, I haven't played volleyball like I did before. I don't even mention it to people. I only say I play basketball.


Biggest challenge in sixth grade was when I ran for peace officer for the high school department. So before I even stepped into high school, I had a place in the high school department. I won, but I had to compete with my best friend. The fact that I won did not make me happy. Since she didn't win, her parents are finally transferring her to another school.


What I did? I joined her. I transferred to another school. I also felt the loss of not being the peace officer (even if it seems inappropriate for someone like me). I also wanted to run president for the high school department before I become a senior. But I made the right choice. I was with my best friend and I met a lot of new friends.


Even though science high school life was not as exciting as my grade school was, I had my own ways that made it fun.


=====

Cheers!

2 revealed their disguise



2 Masks: Blogger silangan whispered...

hmm, grade school days/kuya godo ways. hehehehe! :)

4:24 PM   Blogger letter shredder whispered...

well, i still have to have a post on that... that would entirely be a different story...

6:10 PM  

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